the write to be wrong

Sunday, May 14, 2006

one of those things

honestly, i dont know if i should be happy or sad right now.

believe it or not, although i only go to school for less than 11 hours every week, i have been very busy. but im glad with the friends that i have. so supportive of me. i feel so blessed. especially me dear brother (undisclosed identity). hahaha.. he always say that he'll support me in whatever. and others as well. i cant describe how blessed i feel.

but im also sad because of certain things that are going on. problems. its been troubling me for i dont know how long. and the best part, i dont know what to do about it. its not my problem. its not about me, but it still makes me sad. very sad.

theres a high probability that im going to visit my parents for a few days. i miss them. love them so much. havent seen them for a while and it seems like my mom has a mountain of erm.. information to tell me. hehehehe.. and my dad.. ooohhh.. my dad. lets just say im such a daddy's girl. and im proud of it.

but i just hope i will be there and cheer them up and try not to be depressed at the same time. cos my dads having an operation. he's doing well and stuff, but emotionally kind of down. so i want to be there for him, but im scared cos i have to be strong or at least look strong for him and i dont know if i can do that well. im also not looking forward for the long plane trip (if i drop by singapore, about 13 hours from melbourne). plus, if im going, im going during my swot vac (break before exam). so i have to bring my books and study there and come back maybe one or two days before my exam.

my spritual walk with God. i've been felling a bit dry for many weeks. so many things that happened since the beginning of the year sort of rocked me off the path. it hasnt been a smooth ride. but today, i have asked God to take the lead. im trying to try and be like Job. he was obedient and God blessed him. i want to be obedient too. in my head i know that His plans are what's best for me. i just need my heart to get it. and for my actions to match that thought. hehe.

sometimes i think, with all of these things, its like im in the middle of a whirlwind. studies, ministry, friends' problems, dad's operation. sometimes i think maybe i should be sadder than i am now. or than i appear. otherwise i seem like im too ignorant. but i dont know, even if i was depressed to the point of suicide, things will not suddenly turn around and be flowers and sunshine.

anyhoo...

i've been wanting to post my old poems for a while. just for nostalgic reasons. remembering the thrill of it. ok, i sound like a nerd. er... not that its william shakespeare. cos im only amateur everything. but ill take the risk of embarrassing myself.

in the coldest of nights
the softest of snow turns to ice
let time sing its lullaby
awaiting its tryst with spring

the stars, they remind me of u
u are the monday morning dew
the stars, they remind me..
of how much i love u

rainy days are blue
rainy days without you

in times like these
i want to be lost...
in ur embrace
in ur kisses
in ur scent
when u hear the water sings
do know, honey
im crazy about u

-- i wrote this more than 2 years ago. er...hahahhaha.....*red face*

okok.. thats enough. hehehe..

anyhoooo...
went to evening service today, ps greg talked abt the da vinci code thingy. n im organising to get a bunch of us to watch it next next week, on tuesday, cos we are cheap people. and turns out the church office ppl, from the pastors, the pr person, the ops manager, they're also watching it on tuesday, so we plan to sit right at the back and throw popcorns at them. hahaha.. ok, kidding. maybe we'll throw a da vinci code novel instead. lol.

ps greg says this movie is a powerful tool for evangelism. its true. think abt it. u watch it with ur non christian frens, then they'll ask u, hey u're a christian, what do u think abt it? is this that true? then u can start talking.. haha.. ok, easier said than done. but see the logic?

wen and i munching on the last bits of the fried fish

my reflection on andri's oaks

today i overdosed on chocolate. after lunch, we went to fraus. i had a mug of gianduia (like roche in liquid form, gee, reminds me of dr phil who doesnt like choc..whyyy, whyyyyy.. *sings* tell me why, aint nothing but a heartache.. tell me why, aint nothing but a mistake.. tell me why, i never wanna hear u say.. i want it that way..) and i had a nutella crepe. then went back to city, hung out at the church office basement, waiting for evening service while wen n melvin tried to aim the other's face during a ping pong session. then went of to meet wowo n ruichi for a while n guess what, we went to max brenner. hahahahaa...after evening service, we all went to nam loong n i was so stuffed with choc i couldnt eat, so i had iced milk tea. yeah, i know.. wud the.

there's a new girl called... anyway, she joined us for dinner at nam loong
new girl: im...(name)
me: oh hi, im julie
*shake hand
me: where are u from?
new girl: im from msia
me: here studying?
new girl: no, im working..
me: cool, whereabouts?
new girl: melb uni
*thinks.. OMG, cant believe im doing this. im actually initiating a conversation w a new person.
*convo goes on and suddenly...
wen: ben, cia ben ("ben, eat ben" is a phrase beni's mom always use to call ben before having a meal)
me: ben, cia ben
old man: ben, cia ben
mike: ben, cia ben
vivian: ben, cia ben

and the best part is.. beni's sitting on the other table 3 meters away with others ppl im not sure who.
hehehehe...

|10:21 PM|