the write to be wrong

2010-03-25T16:07:00.001+07:00

So.. Mr Obama has postponed his trip to Indonesia until June. The reason being he's passing a historic health care reform bill into law and furthering the divide between Democrats and Republicans back in the States.

The consolation to Indonesians - who, unfortunately (in my opinion) put Mr Obama on some kind of pedestal and regard him as a national hero (seriously?) because he spent 4 years in Indonesia - was an exclusive interview on RCTI, a national TV channel in which he reminisced fondly of eating street foods: nasi goreng, bakso and even offered his own rendition of a street vendor yelling "satee!! satee!!"

Noticeable changes in the line-up: Michelle Obama and the First Daughters will no longer accompany Mr Obama on this trip to his 'adopted homeland'.

I have always been vocal about my doubts of his upcoming maybe visit. Not just because of Mr George W Bush's epic visit. But also because my relatives and friends who live overseas seem to think that Indonesia is a war zone and we live in huts and swing from tree to tree. Okay, I exaggerated but I'm hoping you get the point.

I'm thinking Mr Obama's people realize how important sentimental Indonesians would consider the realization of what has been made out to be an emotional, nostalgic trip. And it would be hugely beneficial to use this in Mr Obama's effort to strengthen relations between the States and the so-called 'Muslim world'.

Here's the video of the aforementioned exclusive interview:

P.S. RCTI also included a segment interviewing people on the street of what they think of Mr Obama. The interviewees all commended his 'authentic' pronunciation of the words 'nasi goreng, bakso and sate'.

2010-02-02T10:04:00.004+07:00

in theory indonesia is a democratic state and citizens are entitled to free speech. in practice, there are all sorts of fine prints, terms & conditions apply crap. for instance, distribution licenses, defamation laws, and groups that will utilize their 'influence' - and by influence i mean threats of flying rocks at ur windows - to stop a publication from being distributed or published.

i've search high and low to buy playboy indonesia to no avail. some say it doesnt exist anymore. some just dont know. what a pity.

then again, this is indonesia. where workers in ginormous electronic store dont know what an auxiliary input is. they'd go "huh? what's that? charger?" i'd say its a cable, like an ipod jack with the same end on the other side and they'd go "no we dont have that". but i searched the shop and they freakin do..

i read on the news obama plans to visit indonesia in march. i dont get what the big deal is. dude only spent 4 years in indonesia. and indonesians think he's some sort of hero n painted a picture as if he spent his entire childhood here. i've seen segments on tv of supposedly his classmate reminiscing about his experience in primary school with 'little barry'.

i wouldnt be surprised if he'd pull another george bush whose definition of a visit meant a 2-hour stopover, gliding in his black hawk and hauling an entire aircraft carrier in a display of power that i equate to an orang utan thumping his chest.

anyway,
warm welcome mr obama.

2010-01-29T21:58:00.003+07:00

i just got back from a trip to mom's hometown (Bangka Island). it's a small town where everyone knows everyone and everywhere we went mom seemed to bump into one of her childhood friends. and then she would tell me stories of her childhood, which i quite enjoy.

mom came from a relatively well-to-do family. not rich, not poor. but because my grandparents had lots of children (12!!) food were rationed, she recalled. each child would receive a certain no of fish balls, bananas ("sometimes only half!") or oranges. every chinese new year, she would get 4 new tops and 4 bottoms and a pair of sandals/shoes. she'd say "back in the old days, we didnt buy our clothes at shops and malls, we bought fabric and got our clothes made at the tailor". and i found it cute when she told me with the slightest hint of envy that she had a friend who had had lots of new clothes because she was the daughter of the tailor. her dad would make her extra clothes out of leftover fabrics that customers never bothered to take back.

my uncle also told me they felt really special on their birthdays, cos they'd get two eggs "out of the whole year!".

mom always said even though she didnt come from a poor family, like my dad did, she was raised as if she did. i guess she insinuated she was taught to be appreciative of things and not be wasteful

i find these stories charming. and okay, a bit sad.. but charming still.

it's amazing how much things change in such little time. that 30 odd years ago an afro, upturned collar and bell-bottoms were cool. 40 years ago divorces and homosexuals were considered taboo. and three generations ago chinese girls had to have their feet bound. eek!

and so the mind boggles...

2010-01-14T22:55:00.005+07:00

Schadenfreude.
from the german words 'schaden,' meaning harm and 'freude,' meaning joy. the word denotes an emotion in which one feels joy at the adversity of others.

food for thought

2010-01-05T19:35:00.002+07:00

happy new year.

if the Mayans were right, we have less than 2 years till the end of times. but no matter. life goes on. for now anyway.

i do have a few resolutions. i wanna sharpen up my skills. language, computer, people skills. save up. exercise n trim some excess fatty cells. nothing too drastic.

cheerio.

2009-12-21T18:07:00.002+07:00

i'm still alive.
still in the third world.
still being pressured to take up mandarin in china.
still refusing.

im just waiting for momentum, folks.

on a random note.

facebook is beginning to lose its charms on me. i hate the idea that people think they generate true friendships from faux empathetic remarks on the world wide web and others who derive some sort of satisfaction and social affirmation from an equally faux 'friends' list.

dont get me wrong. i adore my friends. that said, i have a select few that i trust the most. it just annoys me when an invention for social networking becomes a contest of who can generate the most faux friends and for horny middle aged men to prey on girls. fuck, i had some nutjob sleazy married dude with kids whose existence i have had no knowledge of PM-ing me asking me to 'get to know each other'.

this is why i hold dear my details, numbers, bb pin and why my blog is comment free. it's dont ask dont tell, terms and conditions apply. and yes, i acknowledge the irony that i am here givin my two cents on cyberspace.

rant rant rant!

toodles.

2009-11-30T18:38:00.001+07:00

Il a menti a son propos. Il a menti a moi, encore. Malheureusement, ce n’est pas la premier fois. J’en ai assez de ses mensonges. Mais, je suis encore amoureuse de lui. Je ne sais pas quoi faire avec moi-même et avec lui. C’est sure, je suis un cliché.

2009-10-15T20:13:00.003+07:00

Telephone Courtesy in Indonesia

Exhibit A
*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello. Can I talk to Mr X?
Me: May I know who's speaking?
*silence*
Me: Hello??
Caller: Yes. Can I talk to Mr X?
Me: May I know who's speaking?
*silence*
Me: Hello??
Caller: Yes. Mr X, please!
Me: Who's speaking??? *getting annoyed*
Caller hangs up

Exhibit B
*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Caller: Who's this?
Me: ???
Me: I'm sorry. Who are you looking for?
Caller: Who's this?
Me: Um.. U're the one calling..
Caller: Mr X home?
Me: Who's speaking?
*silence*
Me: Hello?
Caller: I wanna talk to Mr X!
i hang up

Exhibit C
*ring ring*
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi. Can I talk to Mr X?
Me: May I know who's speaking?
Caller: It's from Siantar ( a region in Sumatra)
Me: Okay. And your name is?
Caller: I'm his friend.
Me: Yes. And your name is?
Caller: John.
Me: Hold on, please. *call for Dad*

why is it so difficult for Indonesians to say who they are on the phone. what's up with that?

2009-10-15T11:17:00.003+07:00

i've been holding myself back. turn a blind eye to her manipulations. put on my happy face. letting myself be the black sheep of someone else's relationship and pretend that i dont know about it. and when i complain privately, im told to be positive.

im sick of this.

im still holding back in honour of someone. and no, it's not u dumbo.

u wanna mess with other people's heads, go ahead. i aint one of them. u push me further imma cap yo ass to the tune of Personal Jesus, bitch.

2009-10-01T20:40:00.002+07:00

i sent in my (job) application this afternoon. we'll see how it goes. im hopeful that all the pieces will come together soon.. now.. now/soon...

my friend told me this is a phase. i sure hope it is. i've been restless. i mean, not that im not used to having nothing to do. but in melbourne, there's always reading for free at borders (heehee) and coffee with friends.

and so the waiting game starts..

honestly, im envious of people who have never had to apply for a job, without connection, because they'd never have to face the uncertainty and rejection. to each his own, i guess.

p.s. i did well for the toefl. 38 points short of perfect score. the test wasnt as difficult as i'd expected. mom was more nervous than i was. cute.

2009-09-25T22:34:00.003+07:00

im doing a toefl test tomorrow morning. really dont know what to expect. i've never done these tests. toefl/ielts. no clue. dont know how to prepare for it as well. i guess i've always taken english for granted. and i've always thought that english is really my first second language. i hope ill do okay. more than okay, actually. near perfect would be awesome. but let's not get cocky.

whenever i tell family members im doing a toefl test, they always give an implied anticipation that i'd fail or do badly.

exhibit A:
person X: so have u done the toefl test?
me: im doing it this saturday
person X: u know if u fail, u cant re-do the test, like, the next week. u have to wait for 6 months.
me: right......good to know....

meh-

im doing the test cos i wanna apply for this job which my mom kind of hesitates at my applying since she wanna keep me free and easy to travel around with my dad. which i dont really mind. but im growing tired of unemployment. i feel the need to do something.. for myself.

p.s. apparently one of the requirement to apply for the aforementioned job is a toefl score of at least 500. doesnt say if one can be exempted from this if one is a graduate from a university in an english-speaking country.

double meh!

2009-09-20T01:03:00.002+07:00

why cant indonesians spell my name correctly?? whenever i go out n get a cuppa at starbucks (coffee here isnt good, best bet is the gazillionaire chain. sad, i know) or yoghurt at sour sally, they'd ask my name and i'd emphasize the 'J' like JUL-ie and every.single.time. without fail (!) they'd write YULI.

whats up with that?

is this a cultural thing??

2009-09-14T22:55:00.004+07:00

i lost my blackberry today. i was hesitant to tell mom but i did right after i came home and got (more than) an earful. i guess i deserve some of that.

im trying to stay positive, which might seem oddly twisted - that i may seem like im not bummed that i lost my BB. but i am bummed. i feel like something's missing. it's something that's taken for granted i guess. being able to communicate with friends so easily.

on one hand, i suppose its good now that im not dependent on the BB anymore. and also, i still have my 3GS.

on the other hand.. i am bummed...

must..
be..
positive..

sigh~

2009-09-06T15:20:00.003+07:00

hurrayy.. finally i can connect to the world wide web. i'm a bit impressed that this wireless technology is getting rampant here in the third world. easy peasy. just a few bits n bobs, et voila! another thing i notice is people use lots of prepaid anything here. from internet, mobile. no need for contracts. u dont have to fill in real information too, i'm told. *shrugs*

i went to mangga dua today. it's like this shopping hub for people from all social classes (?). anyone looking for a bargain, basically. the place is stuffed with things. like a bunch of obsessive compulsive hoarders decide to commute in the same building. i can't stand it. i have a slight claustrophobia problem, u see. so i'd always imagine circumstances where, for instance, if there was a fire, or if there was another earthquake like the one just days ago. and then it'll just be.. buhbye.. kaput.. gone..

on the other hand, the place is fascinating. u can buy anything from a (real!) kitchen aid, kettle, mobile phone, game consoles, pirated and original dvds, toiletries, knockoff handbags, knockoff shoes, knockoff belts, knockoff clothing, knockoff non-leather goods sold as knockoff leather goods - basically, double knockoffs. the list is endless.

but i dont really like shopping there when it's too crowded. and the thing its, when it comes to the fashion, indonesian girls/women/aunties are too concerned with trends. so everyone ends up looking the same. i dont want that. tartan n bat-wing sleeves are in, i notice.

anyhoo..
i'm still settling down at home. it's kinda weird after 10 years++ of being away.

2009-08-10T21:50:00.001+07:00

Have u ever had something explode in ur face when u were just going about ur business, just minding urself, trying ur best to hold ur pieces together in a pressure cooker?

I dont know if it showed despite how hard i tried because of the reactions i received.

What's there to say? As cliched as it sounds, u wont get it unless u're in my shoes.

What an impossible day. I woke up and thought of my friend who had just lost his father the day before. I was sombre for him. I tried to steal a quiet moment for a short prayer when the shit hit the fan. And i didnt see it coming. I thought i was doing the best i could.

Cherry on top was when i realized i was being an ass later in the day to someone who deserved none of it.

But all this does not compare to my friend's loss.

I hope u're doing okay.. My thoughts are with u..

2009-07-30T02:20:00.003+07:00

i was going to have an early night when dumbo attempted to ambush me into fulfilling miss piggy's wishes. right. try harder.

and then there's the baby (not mine) crying.. or screeching. i cant tell which.

great. im up at 5.21 am, super annoyed, cant fucking sleep and trying to refrain from opening the chef's knife i got as my bday gift.

2009-07-28T18:00:00.003+07:00

im getting a bit bored with how fashion is going these days. maybe cos it's not september yet. if u know fashion, u'd know what september means. im pining for something fresh. that said. what is 'fresh' for someone who wears a lot of black? sonia rykel! she has exciting stuff in store, but i feel like they're insanely overpriced. but what isnt in oz? excuse my fragmeted mind for a sec. as for bags, im leaning towards classics these days. and yes, that means black. maybe a 2.55 one day, in a rainbow of colours. hey, dreaming is free.

2009-07-24T20:57:00.005+07:00

what did i do today? not much. yes, sneer away my friend. heehee..

dealt with some errands. thought about new places. and by places i mean places to go eat at. watched house, but fell asleep after 8 eps. did my toe nails. ate a bunch of clementines. semi-planned my honeymoon (with myself, thanks for asking). practiced self-control from the choc jar. going to make tea and admire nigella's ~~cooking abilities~~ fab cooking wares.

adieu

2009-07-24T20:01:00.002+07:00

i like this look. reminds me of summer, al fresco dining and scouring the shops to do some damage. sorry, im confusing fantasy with reality.

cue music: california by phantom planet.

2009-07-23T20:56:00.001+07:00

one of my faves..

2009-07-18T21:10:00.000+07:00

wowsa.
this needs no explanation.

2009-07-18T18:45:00.014+07:00

couverture vs compound

i decided i quite like the callebaut couverture. i can smell the choc before i even finish opening the jar. the choc has strong fragrance, like roasted beans, a hint of coffee and citrus. it's also sweet smelling.

the flavour itself is complex. it is wonderfully bitter, creamy and quite full-on. so, i'm leaning towards forastero/trinitario rather than criollo. this is bittersweet choc, so not that sweet, which is desirable for me. i taste a touch of butter - might be due to the high cocoa butter content (?). i can make out the grain, although very very very fine. texture is that - very fine and smooth, although quite dense. i dont taste citrus, fruitiness. i dont taste any acidity - another plus for my preference. overall very pleasant and velvety.

the aftertaste is just the resonating velvetiness and the slightest hint of acidity on the palette.

on the other hand, i also bought a bar of compound choc - nestle club classic. it says "rich dark chocolate". first thing i notice, no indication of combined cocoa solids/butter percentage, like most dark choc do, though it says it contains 40% cocoa solids (the callebaut has 53.8% cocoa solids). typically dark choc should have at least 70 % of combined cocoa solids and butter.

compound has typical ingredients, sugar, cocoa mass, cocoa butter, soy lecithin, but has butter oil, like most compounds do as an alternative for the more expensive cocoa butter. also has added 'flavours,' salt and milk solids. interesting that no hydrogenized veg oil is used, so not the worst of compounds.

i do smell the choc fragrance but noticably fainter than the couverture. the fragrance is mellow, sweet and there's something else that im guessing is oil. i also smell a faint citrus.

texture is crumbly rather than snappy. i immediately taste the salt, butter and sugar and then the bitterness comes through. the cocoa flavour is not as strong as the couverture. grain is rather coarse but bearable. overall not very complex. acidity surfaces and the sugar lingers as the aftertastes.

this must be quite a decent compound. i should have bought a cadbury.

the meaningful differences for me between the couverture and compound are the intense chocolatiness of the couverture and lack thereof in the compound, the texture of grain and the salt! i feel like the salt ruins the experience of the choc in the compound. definitely will not use the compound for cooking.

i havent made my mousse. i havent decided on the method and ingredients: cream/no cream, eggs/no eggs. dont think i'll be using vanilla (extract). cos mine is tahitian vanilla and it's quite strong. the purpose of my making the mousse is to taste the couverture in a recipe.

2009-07-18T10:54:00.002+07:00

givenchy couture fall 09

photo from voutier

2009-07-16T21:16:00.003+07:00

rêver de la haute couture. manifestement, faire de la couture est très compliqué, n'est-ce pas?

2009-07-16T19:20:00.004+07:00

i hate to call myself a gourmet because there seems to be an underlying, smug connotation about it. but i love food. so i prefer calling myself a foodie.

right now im on a quest to better myself on the topic of chocolate.

unlike most girls, i dont have a thing about chocolate. i dont crave for it. actually i much prefer coffee than cocoa. but that's what i like to believe anyway.

got a head start with my pastry chef friend. and i am determined to train my taste buds on the differences between choc. esp couverture and compound, which shouldnt be too hard. i do want to know what im eating when im being served, say a truffle supposedly made of good quality belgian.

i bought some couverture choc today. callebaut dark choc buttons. just getting to know it, really.
one kilo of it, in fact.

might make choc mousse sometime this week.

lucky me.

2009-07-14T22:20:00.003+07:00

im lusting after these:

sass & bide tee

and

ungaro chained knit hoodie

how maverick!
alas, im on a shopping ban.

2009-07-13T23:49:00.002+07:00

I spent a lot of time thinking yesterday about how many times i can take it. Once, twice, three times.. Are there more in store?

There are people who are toxic to my life, plans, peacefulness. Some i have never even met, including her. She's like cancer. Because even after painful and tiresome healing processes she keeps coming back. At some point this has to stop. So either she or i succumb.

but why blame only the cancer when there is another element in the equation?

why does it have to be so complicated. It should have been a swat-the-fly and move on case.

then again, shoulda, woulda, coulda are the last words of a fool.

and how is it harmless as u say?
she is worth your betraying my trust. she is worth your causing me pain.

then why am i still here?
without u, there's no cancer.

If there is anymore then u can count me out because it is beneath me.

2009-07-13T11:38:00.001+07:00

2009-07-12T21:37:00.003+07:00

liar, liar, pants on fire..

2009-07-11T22:24:00.004+07:00

flats are typically my day-to-day footwear of choice. but i have to make a confession: i love loafers. i think they're actually boys shoes (?). loafers are too often associated with grannies in daggy capris. perhaps, almost, if not equally frowned upon by its cousin the birkenstocks (on women anyway). but although there have been more and more chic reincarnations of late, it's difficult to find a pair that both serves its purpose of comfortable cradling of ur feet and still manage to look modern, young and chic. i now reminisce fondly of my off-white pair of nine west loafers that i wore until they were butchered.

yes:

no:

2009-07-08T09:58:00.002+07:00

is this badass or what? alexander wang est un genie de la mode. il est visionnaire. mais je ne peux pas acheter ce sac a main parce que je mets de l'argent de côté pour m'acheter une pochette chanel. alors...

2009-07-04T15:23:00.001+07:00

I'm a firm believer in murphy's law. It feels like im being pricked and prodded from all sides at this moment and the more i wish for a snippet of air, the wisdoms of murphy's law find their way each time.

As Carrie Bradshaw once mused:
"When did the art of compromise become compromising?"

At least i have fashion as my escape. I am desperate for a break. A honeymoon with myself, thank you.

Fingers crossed.

2009-06-20T18:15:00.002+07:00

intruder alert

i'm outraged. seriously. wtf. she's not family. a mere acquaintance. a bloomin' acquaintance. please stop acting like u know me. stop acting like i care about u. as if. and most importantly, i would appreciate if u keep away from me. and dont tag along with my family. especially for my convocation(s). even though my parents are too polite to say otherwise. i dont appreciate ur 'company'.

in other words. fuck off. pretty please.

2009-06-19T21:55:00.002+07:00

i had a nostalgic moment, reminiscing about my secondary school days in singapore because i have had nothing to do for the past many days. Im just waiting for my (last!) exam and havent got a kick to start studying just yet. i did flicker about one chapter though.

anyway, i was just browsing the school's website and it just dawned on me that it's been a while (!). i cant believe im actually an alumni. and soon to be an alumni of university of melbourne. i had fond memories of my classmates, some of whom i still keep in touch with and our teachers mrs sundram and ms loh. and not so fond memories of that discipline mistress.

i've always loved being at school. learning something. although i must say, being at uni does not make me feel smart. in actual fact i feel like i know less and less in comparison to the mountain of stuff out there.

but im glad i didnt go to an indonesian university cos the standard is just appalling. my friends and i have made comparisons of the workload between us who study here (melb U/monash etc) to those back home. makes melb seem like Gitmo in comparison.

what i will miss, though, is the south lawn, the courtyards, the cafes, the charming old facades-cos the inside is totally modern and im still conflicted about the juxtaposition. and of course, going to class and trying to squeeze bits of time to grab a cuppa!

2009-06-05T09:17:00.004+07:00

politics at its best. he's good at saying things people want to hear and saying things he wants to say without having people realize it's not what they want to hear. bravo.
indo got a few shout-outs too..

2009-06-04T19:04:00.002+07:00

another old SNL vid. so wrong!!! yet so funny.

2009-06-03T21:50:00.001+07:00

i love food and the pleasure of eating, sharing a meal with friends. recently ive been craving singaporean food. i think it's because i spent my formative years there, whatever that means. i also like the fact that singaporeans have no qualms about eating at hawker centres, at least that's the impression i've got so far. where i come from there are some groups that dont like eating in humble tents/restos because they think it's disgusting. and they're right, it is. but it's so good.

i love indonesian food, esp padang cuisine which is replicated everywhere but isnt quite the same until u hav visited a typical padang resto with a pyramid of dishes. and the perfect sambal with green chillies.

if u know me well enough u probably know that i like to eat, a lot.. i'll eat anywhere from the road side to an award winning french restsurant. heck, i could probably replace tony bourdain (i wish!!) but right now i would kill just to sit in a hawker centre, in super humid singaporean weather, with a hot bowl of mee pok and teh-c peng.

2009-06-03T16:53:00.004+07:00

my kind of porn..
givenchy..sigh..givenchy!!!

blue would be great for this pauric sweeny

god save mcqueen!

there's a long-running debate over girls (and increasingly boys too, perhaps), especially among indonesians, wearing branded bags, or other goods for that matter. darn, what a choppy sentence that was.

as i was saying. my observation is that there are two camps, surely - pro and contra. and my view is. who cares what people think!

if u can afford it, go ahead. i think what's important is to be respectful and gracious. there will always be people who will judge and pinpoint something negative about me. heck, even (some) members of my family wont hesitate to try and bring me down over matters as trivial as, i dont know, grapes. good luck with that.

people have different interests. some are obsessed with photography, some with golf, some with collecting wine, some with fashion, some with martial arts *cough cough cough*. it might sound kind of sad.. consumerist, materialist, whatever. social theorists might say it contributes to identity construction, which is an even more depressing discourse.

a fashion obsession is perhaps more difficult to understand. specifically because it is closely related with consumerism. fashion is often seen as frivolous, superficial. i love fashion. i could write an essay on this. the body as a surface for expression, finding a place in society, a performative practice perhaps blah blah blah..but i find myself not having a clear justification for my obsession. in fact, im not sure i see that there's a need to..

call me crazy.

2009-05-31T11:40:00.001+07:00

yay, it worked!! i think i might prefer posting w this. unless i hav to do template/song changes. ive been thinking if i should change the template since its been a while, but ill probably get something simple n in black so im not sure whats the point. could something similar ever be so refreshing?

i think i hav a thing against fat people. they take up more space. they should be made to pay more for plane seats, tram tickets, extra material for clothes. why should little people like me bear the burden. sure, u hav psychological reasons to stuff urselves with food and without the pleasure. but that's better than 90 per cent of people in africa. i bet they'd rather be as miserable as u are..

just a little food for thought. ha..ha..ha..

2009-05-31T11:25:00.001+07:00

test.. im using an app on ipod to blog, hopefully this works.

2009-05-25T08:47:00.002+07:00

what a fascinating few days.

u know when u had faith in someone and u expect them to know better and then they prove u wrong, and not in a good way.

u know when they say women have real strong instincts. but i dont trust my instincts most of the time. i tend to lean on logic, as odd as that sounds. i dont like getting angry. i try to think with reason. i dont like being a medium for my emotions. a mere vessel. i prefer to wear my dress and not let the dress wear me. if u know what i mean.

but than all my friends say im too lenient. too nice. too forgiving.

and i thought i had an epiphany with my instinct a few days ago. i dont quite know what to make of that. so i didnt. and then...

2009-05-23T18:11:00.002+07:00

"Seorang filsuf Yunani pernah menulis … nasib terbaik adalah tidak dilahirkan, yang kedua dilahirkan tapi mati muda, dan yang tersial adalah umur tua. Rasa-rasanya memang begitu."

"Lebih baik diasingkan daripada menyerah pada kemunafikan."
- Soe Hok Gie.

2009-05-22T20:24:00.001+07:00

an al-jazeera (love this channel) report on the country that's on my passport.

2009-05-20T13:05:00.003+07:00

"I don't understand that if you look wonderful, does that make you less important, less powerful, less serious?" (Anna Wintour, 2009).

The Devil and Alexander Wang

2009-05-10T21:27:00.003+07:00

sometimes wad a girl needs to do to get things done is lock herself up in the house.

that's what i did today, in a bid to be productive.

i was highly stressed out in anticipation of my hectic week. i had a big essay (55 per cent!), a presentation and a french oral test that i had to make a script for. well, its a pair thing. but my partner.. she's hopeless. i know she's stressed with her own assignments and tests. but dont we all. that ain't no excuse not to pay ur dues..

on the flipside. im kinda glad i did 97 per cent of the work cos she wanted to talk about dog poo in paris. hahaha...oh, the horror!

where was i?

so i'm not entirely free of my burdens. but i'm halfway there. i finished my script for thursday, i did my presentation for tuesday. i did the research for my essay and the biblio because for some reason, arts professors at my uni *ehem* are anal about the wealth of references in essays.

so im set. i just have to focus and write up my essay for submission this friday.
although i must say im a terrible procrastinator when it comes to assignments.

and if only writing an essay comes as naturally as writing a blog entry. i'm quite competitive about my essays. i'd rather submit late than be ashamed of how noob my argument is. my (worst) record was 7 days exactly. i got H3 for it.

i dont know how im still holding on, honestly. my forgetting my exam is an epic story with my friends. i'd mixed the date up. and then i hadnt started studying until 12am and went to bed at 4am (cos i was sleepy..). if u care, i did pass the exam. in fact i did very well. hehe..

finally.. the issue now is.. to snack, or not to snack?

2009-04-20T11:42:00.007+07:00

i deeply despise recycled sermons. i mean, wad do a bunch of pastors do all week? solve world hunger? no..especially in those churches with multiple pastors on the payroll each of whom dont even give sermons every week.

i cannot agree that we are expected to accept their laziness as word of God, spoken through the pastor with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Did they seek God's guidance and did God say to the pastors, "Oh, my dearest so-and-so, this week u should talk to my people about that beautiful teaching i told u about circa 2001 in the third drawer of my desk. I am really preoccupied with this economic crisis, i cant deal with u right now".

i complain time and again and get told every time that this is common practice. then u know what, that's even more shameful.

if we are to take sermons as soul food, then recycled sermons is expired food. its like going to mcdonalds, handing over 5 bucks for a meal and being given a meal tts been sitting on a shelf for a year or more.

i tell u one thing they dont lose enthusiasm about: it's reminding u how generous God has provided for u *hint hint* and u should not hold back on giving back *hint hint* to Him. *pass the bucket*

2009-04-06T21:28:00.002+07:00

super funny x factor audition. "more like ant and deaf." heeheehehee

2009-04-04T21:53:00.001+07:00

omg i LURVE ricky gervais! (and kate winslet)

2009-04-02T20:39:00.003+07:00

i am very ashamed... j'ai honte!! as a media student, i am not as up-to-date as i should be with current affairs. years ago i used to subscribe to time (which i read religiously) and the age (which functioned more or less as a door-stopper). today i picked up my first time magazine in years and had an epiphany - i should catch up on my current affairs knowledge.

problem is, i'd have to spend a lot of time reading, my weekly readings for school, at least 6 journal articles each week; weekly trashy magazines (which i love! go ahead and judge me..hehe); monthly fashion magz (which i worship!). and on top of that newspapers and news magazines.

one of my lecturer once said that we (journo students) should read at least 5 publications daily, from the age, herald sun, the australian, financial weekly and one of those free local papers that report on some remote primary school blackouts.

i guess i should device a plan to upgrade from my scant scan of google news everyday...

2009-03-28T17:43:00.003+07:00

P.S. i must try that AIX place. supposedly legendary ("best cafe in the world"). i've been through that alleyway millions of times, never noticed the place. then again. the best places in melbourne are like that. this city is like full of rabbit holes a la alice in wonderland. which is probably why it is so great. although deep down inside im ready to move on to another metropolis with new rabbit holes to discover...sad face.

2009-03-28T17:24:00.005+07:00

love love:
1. melbourne today. profound pictures (often paradoxical too) of and around melbourne with a flair of esotericism - in a good way.

2. the breakfast blog. because i love brunch sessions with dearlings - if i can get up early enough that is. what the world needs now is all day breakfast!!

3. melbourne coffee review. because in melbourne, (good!) coffee is oxygen.

2009-03-18T20:12:00.003+07:00

im loving my newly acquired mac hello kitty tinted lip conditioner. it's uncharacteristically pink. but pale pink, which i quite like. i must admit though its the kitty that clinched the buy since i dont really buy mac (the cosmetics. the electronics on the other hand...but these are apples and oranges). the other thing uncharacteristic, too, is the pot packaging, which i normally stay away from.

i dont know what the fascination is with hello kitty. hypocritical, i know. it's just that, i dont have any recollection of hello kitty in my childhood. i had barbie and bb guns. but no kitty. and i used to (still do) mock at the people who'd lined up for hours and hours in front of mcdonald's in singapore for hello kitty and dear daniel dolls.

but, once again, consumerism got the better of me.

arent these cute, though?

still on the subject of pink-ness. the other day i was wearing pink nail polish. its really hot pink (with glitter!!). which was a gift from the bf's mother. which i quite like since it's totally different from what id get for myself. and trust my friends to say point that out loud: "wow, thats some pink nails.. tt's not u. u're better off with black nails" (or thereabouts).

ummm...

2009-03-15T18:04:00.000+07:00

OMFG!!!!!!!!

2009-03-13T15:40:00.007+07:00

random!

now up till august (my graduation, if all goes well) would be the last few months i can paint my nails black. my mom hates it and will do everything to stop me, like viciously glare at the manicurist holding a bottle of black varnish. >.< and im pretty sure my bf's parents wont like it too. so, ill enjoy my last months of manicure freedom.

people tend to say beauty is skin deep. if so, why is it then that black nail polish can cause squeamishness in some people?

beauty ain't skin deep, people. it's socially constructed. and the irony is that i would have to conform to that pressure to fit into the 'good girl' mold.

it's difficult being exposed to ideals on freedom and identity and then having to go back to fastidiously 'traditional' and narrow-minded social context. perhaps, some things are better left untold.

my lecturer, sheilla jeffreys, the radical feminist extraordinaire, would be so proud.

2009-03-13T15:09:00.004+07:00

friday the 13th!

i dont count myself as a superstitious person. at least i think im not. hehee.. what was the point of this then u ask? i dont know. bcos i can.

2009-03-12T18:53:00.003+07:00

2nd attempt.

i used canola oil this time and boiled the garlic cloves. it turned out alrite. i got the creamy texture, but the garlic was coarse cos i just forked it. aioli had a mild garlic flavour. too mild perhaps? i did cheat and added some garlic powder. will try roasting the garlic. just out of curiosity maybe.. i wonder if i use more yolks it would be creamier. like those japanese mayo.

2009-03-11T16:43:00.003+07:00

first attempt to make the perfect aioli.

recipe i followed:
2 yolks
4 garlic cloves, crushed
250 ml extra virgin olive oil
2 ts lemon juice
coarse salt
black pepper

outcome:
i got the right consistency, thick, creamy. my aioli didnt split. but im not happy with the flavour. i found the garlic too strong. it has a raw, pungent spiciness. maybe 4 cloves is too much? i want deep and resonant garlic-y flavour that's subtle on the first taste. i think ill try roasting the garlic - or boiling - which would get rid of the raw garlic flavour and become subtle yet deep, like i do in my mash potatoes. but im not sure if i should roast/boil. roasting will give a sweet, garlic flavour, but it is more troublesome.
ill also switch to cheaper, normal olive oil. or maybe use ground nut oil or corn oil. the extra virgin is too empowering. too peppery, which normally i love, but i feel like its too strong in the aioli.

i'm also going to try making hollandaise which i attempted about 2 years ago. but it didnt emulsify well enough. i wasnt sure why.

hollandaise is like the evilist of all condiments. if aioli is made of (largely) olive oil and mayonnaise is of plain veg oil/corn oil/whatever. hollandaise is the emulsion of yolks and that yellow cubes of evilness, the heart-clogger a.k.a. butter. yum..

2009-03-10T21:04:00.002+07:00

i am a bloody 5th year student! surrounded by naffys a.k.a. the 'oh-where-did-u-get-the-textbook-oh-at-the-bookshop-next-to-the-baillieu-wait-where's-the-baillieu' bunch.

feels kinda odd to be at the sunset of my academic career. for now anyway.

2009-03-06T21:41:00.002+07:00

shock and awe!

okay, not really. more like 'surprise and 'eh..'' =D anyhoo. the apartment building and in fact broader victoria were rattled by an earthquake just this evening. news reports inform that it occurred at approximately 9.00 pm at 4.6 on the richter scale.

my table (and everything on it) shook about for about 10 seconds and i felt the building jelly about too. but nothing too serious i think.

cheerio!

2009-03-06T17:52:00.002+07:00

a new obsession: marco pierre white! he makes gordon look like pussy. he's badass. notorious. looks a bit off too. an einstein of a chef.

2009-03-06T15:54:00.000+07:00

this is hilarious! must watch!
team leno!!~

2009-03-04T20:17:00.004+07:00

fuggit!

i was going to write some self-improvement points. kind of like resolutions, i suppose. but i forgot what they were. so there. the irony....

i had a goal for this year: that by nov 2009 i would be on my way to mastering - okay, not mastering, but at least being able to make and understand decent convos in 5 languages. the master plan isnt going so well. i find myself thinking french in german class and thinking 'eins zwei drei' in le francais!! ahhhh...

right now, im swimming in the sea of encore! et puis! alors! d'accord! ensuite!

c'est tout...

2009-03-01T08:06:00.001+07:00

these tumultuous times lead me to wonder, surely religious institutions, especially the church, must be makin' good $$$$$. ka-ching!

2009-02-23T17:48:00.002+07:00

i havent had any inspiration whatsoever on writing an entry. i suppose im just overjoyed to be back in melbourne and just trying to establish some sort of normalcy, following my bizarre non-holiday.

i welcome the cooler weather. and autumn. i've always thought im an autumn person. the cool, not hot, not cold weather; falling leaves and the sombre mood agree with me.

i had a near loss yesterday, with my crackberry. silly me left it in a public toilet in a busy establishment. i guess its true what they say: u dont know what u had until u lost it. i was really not functional without the device, withdrawal symptoms and all.. which is a testament to how attached i've become..and rather pathetic in that. thank god someone was kind enough to return it to me.

one thing i do miss though (apart from the s.o.) is working at elle. i've always had an affinity with magazines. but since interning at elle, i LOVE them. i think because now i know that every single page is a lot of hardwork from a team of people.

anyway..
off to bed now. nighty nites.

2009-02-22T06:09:00.002+07:00

the kiwi land.

2009-02-20T10:06:00.001+07:00

oh dear god! ive never been this suicidal. blehhhh...

2009-02-06T14:43:00.001+07:00

the evil witch antics are getting old. these arent exemplary behaviour. and one would expect the subject to know better.. waayyyyyyy better. then again..

2009-02-04T16:01:00.000+07:00

this is an old SNL skit, but i laugh every time i see it.

2009-02-02T13:59:00.002+07:00

i think one of the key ingredient in learning is humility. without it, u wont gain scratch. today i witness firsthand of such an instance of a grumpy, proud/stubborn and clearly insecure student. just an example of what NOT to be, i guess.

2009-02-01T19:54:00.002+07:00

i am back down under and finally resuscitated the blog from code blue. oh! i went to sydney and all i got is a lousy bruise on my left knee. hehehe..

i miss my s.o.. =(

2009-01-22T14:25:00.000+07:00

there's something so sexy about a man cooking. i just wanna..... hehhehehehehe

2009-01-12T09:10:00.000+07:00

new gear resolution part un.
1. more flats and less lusting after 4-inch heels.
2. more blouses less tshirts.
3. more skinnies

2009-01-09T08:42:00.002+07:00

im having mixed feelings. i have never been at home for longer than 3 weeks every year, which is no problem at all. this year is quite different. im scheduled to be here until (end of) feb. which would be great considering id have more time with my s.o.

on the other hand...

i miss having the total freedom i so enj0y without having mom put me on a tight leash. and i so deeply miss english media. the variety of english media here is depressing. not to mention the price hike. and good, accessible coffee.

and singapore l'officiel.

perhaps those are the things id miss the most when i get back here for good. magz n coffee. borders, u should be proud.

2008-12-31T09:38:00.003+07:00

im positively bored. i finished all my tasks and there's nothing left for me to do till next week's deadline. did i mention im at the office? on new years eve. which, truth be told, i dont mind the having to come to work part because i despise the non-directional bumming at home just the same - unless i'd planned it beforehand. yeah, i plan my lazy days. go ahead and judge me.

there was an invitation for a new years eve party with a relative. but i'd much prefer partying with friends than with relatives. im not a family person i think. heck im not a warm fuzzy person. "relatives, cant live with them, cant turn the in to the police," one of my friends once told me. i believe he's also a dark and twisty person.

so im gonna pass on the festivities for an early night or maybe channel-surfing into the new year. i really dont care shit about new year, valentine's day, whatever...

ciao bitches..

2008-12-22T09:05:00.001+07:00

im having a bag withrawal... aaahhhh...
third world online shopping sux.. in fact, there's hardly any attractive online shopping at all. and the fact that im interning at a fashion magazine makes it worse!! all the temptation and no splurging. gaaahhhhhhhhh

2008-11-16T20:50:00.000+07:00

i love half-frozen orange juice.

2008-11-14T20:56:00.001+07:00

isnt that the cutest thing in the world. rhetorically speaking, of course.

2008-11-14T20:39:00.007+07:00

finally! after 3 weeks of UNDESERVED third-world/developing country internet connection, speed is back to first-world normal. im so fucking jaded of watching old series episodes, of waiting 30 minutes for a 2 freaking minute youtube video. thats right. i am bubbling people. like a bottle of champagne tt cant wait to stick the cork in someone's eye.

i've been jaded the past few weeks. so tired of boys who act macho macho but when it comes to things they fear people would perceive to be out of 'character' - if there's any in the first place - then it's on to women-blaming. what the fuck. u have balls. act like u have them on would u. there is nothing attractive about wussies who wants to be seen as otherwise. who always have the need to have their 'power' reassured by any means other than fixing themselves. please. spare me.

2008-11-05T23:27:00.001+07:00

if u care...

america's 44th president - the acceptance speech

senator john mccain

2008-10-29T15:59:00.003+07:00

oh hello..

from Pedderzine

2008-10-22T20:15:00.008+07:00

the feminism (inner) conflict

did u know/realize that a woman's identity is relative to a man's?

a woman carries her father's name - and therefore identity (as in, whose daughter is she?) - from the day she is born and then when she gets married, she is impositioned to carry her husband's name. and the system attempts to stigmatize and question irregularities - those outside the system, like urs truly.

it is fascinating to me that my dad did not give me a last name. and i'm supposing this is a mere coincidence, really, without any prior knowledge of political implications. but how apt is it that by the lack of a 'family name' i came to be enlightened that there is room for my own construction of identity/ies in a postmodern sense.

of course, some would argue that, in essence, this is hypocritical because of the reality of my dependence - both socially, financially, whatevs - on the parents i cannot completely separate myself from the aforementioned social context. thus, the political ambition is virtually impossible.

another thing...
and this is rather symbolic. in a (conventional, western/western-influenced) wedding ceremony, the woman is 'given away' from one man to another. again, this is the norm, which is reinforced by media representation, religious institutions and in some instances, governments.

isnt it intriguing that we are so used to the status quo that we dont think there is possibility other than this (constructed) reality?

2008-10-17T10:27:00.001+07:00

idiom of the day: play it by ear.
if u play it by ear, u dont have any plans, so u kinda go about ethereally as things take shape.

2008-10-09T22:49:00.004+07:00

sad day today. the quality of coffee at plush fish is declining. barista is a noob. cute. but noob.

university teaches many important things:
like the kind of coffee u like. latte, cap, mocha, long black...
how to use google
how to use wikipedia and how not to get penalized for it (use different citation, of course)
the need to check ur email often
how to text in class discreetly
how to sneak coffee into the library

2008-10-07T18:49:00.002+07:00

a bunch of friends n i went to the vue de monde the other day. sort of like, one of the acclaimed french and gourmet restaurants in melbourne. and food was great.

i asked my french tutor what the phrase 'vue de monde' meant. according to her it meant "view of the world". vue means to see, monde means world. and 'de' means 'of' and is an article interchangable in accordance to the gender of the noun - i.e. 'de' can become 'de', 'du' and 'des'.

but...
apparently it is grammatically wrong. it should have been 'vue du monde' and not 'vue de monde,' since the 'monde' is masculline and the articles de + le becomes 'du'

and yes..
apparently the french are quite anal about their language. what would be conceived a minor alteration to a noun from un politique to un homme politique and une femme politique can cause national uproar.

so...
apparently, vue de monde isnt french enough. not sure what's the significance to this. still interesting nonetheless.

2008-10-04T20:35:00.003+07:00

word(s) of the day: moose knuckle

ask me how i know that, and i might tell u.
xoxo

2008-10-04T19:36:00.002+07:00

i wish my wardrobe consisted of 3 main colours: black, white and gray, with random splashes of all things blue. that would be perfection.

i love black apparels. not in an emo, gothic fashion. not that there's anything wrong with that. im not one to judge. just not my cuppa. but in a chic and cheeky way, hopefully with a dash of edge to it.

random.

2008-09-27T23:16:00.002+07:00

one of the things i will miss from melbourne...

jackets. i will miss wearing jackets. notice the plural. in the tropical non-paradise where im from and will be for the summer (how ironic is that), wearing jackets is unthinkable, although i have seen some questionable characters go about in hoodies and beanies - when that happens, i sweat for them.

but here in melbourne, where 4 seasons happen in a day, jackets are like our cocoon, our save haven in unpredictable winds and temperatures. jackets are our statements too. it adds to the outfit, gives so many options. it has been arduous for me to try and find a way a leather apparel would fit into my tropical non-paradise home town/city/madness climate. maybe short sleeve jacket, unbuttoned, leather legging - probably not. but i LOVE leather. i just do. in rachel zoe's words: "i die!" okay, probably not. some cow and innocent little lamb did. yes, i will meditate on that the next time i have a medium rib-eye with creamy pepper sauce and extra extra butter.

love love..

2008-09-27T20:07:00.001+07:00

Bruno attacks Milan Fashion Week. can't wait to see the movie!

2008-09-24T21:09:00.002+07:00

josh groban sings bits of 30 famous tv themes. my faves are the south park n prince of bel-air parts. haha..

2008-09-21T17:43:00.002+07:00

obsession du jour

little cupcakes, degraves st. just off ruelle flinders, melbourne.

clockwise from the bear: white choc mini cupcake, coconut, banana n another coconut.
my fave is coconut n red velvet n belgian choc. but these babies run out very fast. they're gone by 2pm!
hurry!!

2008-09-21T17:26:00.001+07:00

too old for a petting zoo...

2008-09-15T18:49:00.002+07:00

finding a job is so hard. but i've been told that it's a game of numbers, much like dating i suppose.
hope this Xth time is the charm. actually, i dont know how many companies i've applied to, but most probably it's under 10.
yeah. i know. i whine. deal with it.

2008-09-06T21:14:00.002+07:00

my favourite version of this song. but this is the pre-trujillo era still with the newsted guy.

fuel - metallica & the san francisco symphony

i think dream theater should do a concert with a symphony too. that would be crazy cool. i wonder how the symphony would keep up with portnoy.

please come back to melb. this time i want backstage passes!

2008-09-03T20:01:00.002+07:00

new goal...

by this time next year, i wanna speak 5 languages fluently:
indo - check
english - check
french - in progress
chinese - in progress
german - sem 1 '09

but ultimately i wanna learn as much as it is possible.
im not interested in japanese right now. i dont wanna be one of those pseudo-japs/jap-wannabes. *shudder* maybe later, but not a priority.

and not bahasa melayu. i got a1 for o levels. but its not a competitor on my list.

maybe..
italian
latin would be nice
canto is so difficult. sounds vulgar too.. like german. haha..
arabic would be cool

they say once u learn a handful, picking up new languages would be easy peasy..

oh what else..

2008-08-27T11:53:00.002+07:00

i dont get it.

why is it that hillary clinton gets so much criticism for barack obama's issues with persuading fellow democrats to his side. she's not the VP candidate. he's the one who's running for presidency.
why should she be blamed for his incompetence? why is the media focus on her and not on obama?

2008-08-26T16:53:00.000+07:00

woohooo!
i am officially a Red Cross volunteer! yay!

2008-08-25T01:02:00.002+07:00

i love u..

2008-08-24T19:30:00.003+07:00

please STOP!

we are all concerned about the planet because it affects our lives. heck, my country suffered the tsunami. but please stop all the fake crap about being green. we all know that this only means good business for corporations and conglomerates. no one who lives in a two room flat and flies economy can ever match up the carbon footprint of 'green' people who live in mansions, drive a hummer and fly to green or nobel prize conventions in a private jet cough-al-gore-cough.

im sick of all this pseudo-green shiz.

2008-08-24T19:02:00.005+07:00

the beijing olympics have received plenty of praise and equal flaks on its ways. i think we tend to forget that this is a communist nation. and the status quo that they are used to are not quite the same as the standards that are upheld in so-called democratic nations. i personally think for a communist state, they have done an impressive job. but ill leave it to the open on whether or not management of the olympics can be construed as ethical.

i have never believed in freedom. let me clarify that. i believe that freedom is a human right. but i dont believe it can be attained in any state, democratic or otherwise. i only believe, or observe, that democratic nations are better at giving the illusion of freedom. governments constantly keep track of its citizens. all our purchases, movements as in where we take the train and where we get off, where we work are all recorded.

take a look at malaysia. anwar ibrahim was jailed for (alleged) sodomy as he was campaigning his vision for the country - in opposition for the ruling system. indonesia is supposed to be democratic, but the government did ban youtube because they didnt agree with a video that (mis)represented islam. america is the godfather for democracy and yet the patriot act legitimizes the tapping of 'suspicious' phone conversations.

hmm..
politics is depressing, isnt it. everything can be politicized.

anyway.
have a good week.

2008-08-23T14:36:00.002+07:00

watching the olympics, i've observed... that sportsmen have faces that look like asses to balance their sizzling hot bods.